Back in the Studio

After the last two art shows that I participated in, I have been giving my artwork a lot of thought.  My father looked at my paintings and stated it very simply, "Who are you painting for?"  I was embarassed by my work before he even asked.  Once he asked, I was down right humiliated by my lack of confidence.  Why am I allowing myself to hide behind work I am not even proud of?  Is it really necessary for me to try to paint for anyone but myself?  This thought may seem selfish, but what is the point of painting, if not to express myself? When I am painting what I think others seem to want, I lose all sense of self.  Where's the heART in that? 

After two weeks of serious thinking and positve painting experiences, I am back to doing what I love.  Flowers are my favorite thing to paint in this entire world.  I cannot stop myself from loving them anymore than I can keep my little one from learning new words each day.  I think of painting landscapes and florals as I sleep at night.  There is nothing more relaxing or self expressive than nature. 

As I return to painting my true passions in the studio, I offer an apology to the fans of my artwork.  I am sorry for deserting you, while I searched for meaning in my artwork.  The true meaning was there all along.  I was searching for something I had already found, but lost sight of.  As a writer tries to find their voice, an artist tries to find their sight.    You see, I already knew what I love to paint.  I thought it wasn't good enough anymore.

A quote my cousin shared with the world on facebook recently helped me regain my sight,

"Ink on paper is as beautiful to me as flowers on the mountains; God composes why shouldn't we?"(-Audra Foveo-Alba) 

So here are my latest efforts to regain my sight and allow my heart to bleed onto the canvas.

Pink Coneflowers

Orange Cosmos

The Little Show with Little Preparation

So I am absolutely thrilled back in December to discover that the first juried show I finally get it together for accepts me!  I then received the details for the show and in the bustle hustle of the hurried harried holiday season upon me I threw them in a heap on a table and forgot about them.  Mildly and somewhat more discomforting sicknesses plagued our household throughout December and early January.  So much so, that I never painted during the winter vacation from school.  In my mind, I decided that I had paintings that fit the requirements for the show. 

LITTLE did I know that I did not know the definition of miniature.  One week prior to the shows drop off date, I gaze at the requirements for information.  I quickly gleaned that out of the five paintings I planned to use for the show, one met the size requirement.  ACK!  My heart began pounding in my chest.  The prices, medium, and title were due immediately.  I quickly fired off an email asking for the latest possible time I could submit the information that day.

To my great relief the person in charge gave me a two day extension to submit my painting information.  Still in a state of panic, I raced to the my basement studio ever greatful and mindful of the peacefully sleeping toddler upstairs. Painting was no longer something I wanted to do, but something I NEEDED to do.  My name was listed in the show's flyers... if I failed to drop off artwork...

I began rummaging through my supplies in panic mode.   

These were the thoughts racing through my mind:  No canvases the size of a small child's head existed in my studio. Where was I going to get canvases the size of  a grapefruit immediately when the toddler is napping???  No one to watch him while I run to the store.  If he's sleeping I need to paint.  What am I going to paint?  Whoever decided 25 square inches was a good idea is on my list.

Grabbing a ruler, I began ripping canvas to the miniature specifications.    As the canvases took shape, a plan formulated in my mind.  Peace settled in.  Paint what I know.  Paint what exists.  Paint what is available. 

Little Show Paintings

Fruit Still Life (Definition):

When the artist misreads and neglects to read the rules for a show one artist paints fruit... I had two days to create four of the paintings for this show due to negligence and procrastination. Fruit is available. Fruit is always in my refrigerator. Fruit is a beautiful form to paint. I love to set up a small still life that allows light and shadow to play across the surface. These miniatures are a reflection of joy found in the need to paint quickly and the necessity to produce in rapid succession. Enjoy.

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